thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
