I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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