You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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