I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
