are you still at the devil's house?
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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