Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
