I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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