"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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