just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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