I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
