well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
3 2 1 whiskey
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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