Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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