do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
