I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
