You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
