If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i need some magic done to my vagina
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
