Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She announced her abortion via fbk
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
