So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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