Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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