you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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