If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We don't watch enough power rangers
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
