have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
