okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
