is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
