The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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