is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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