i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
