The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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