***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
