some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
