I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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