i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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