..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
