Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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