I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
