Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
