I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
