I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
