Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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