The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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