Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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