Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
