Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
