Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
