what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
please come you make the beer taste better
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My vagina is officially offended.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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