the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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