We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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