I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
