Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
