I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize