Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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